“Dutch People Are Rude” – A Local Explains

Short answer:

No — Dutch people are not rude.
They’re direct. If you’re used to polite small talk or enthusiastic service, that difference can feel uncomfortable at first.

This article is for you if you’ve felt brushed off, ignored, or unsure after an interaction in the Netherlands.
It’s not for you if you already enjoy blunt communication or don’t mind keeping things purely practical.

I’ve guided travelers from North America and other parts of the world for years, and this question comes up all the time. Once you understand what’s happening, most of these moments stop feeling personal.

Why Dutch Directness Feels Rude to Visitors

In the Netherlands, we usually say what we mean — and only what we mean.

• When you ask, “How are you?” we may answer honestly.
• When you ask for an opinion, you’ll likely get it.
• When we don’t want to chat, we don’t pretend we do.

None of that is meant to push you away.

In many cultures, friendliness is shown through tone and enthusiasm. In Dutch culture, it’s shown through clarity and respect for personal space.

I often explain it this way to my guests:
We skip the warm-up and go straight to the point.

If you’re not expecting that, it can feel abrupt.

“How Are You?” Means Something Different Here

This is one of the biggest cultural mismatches I see.

In North America, “How are you?” is often a greeting.
In the Netherlands, it’s a real question.

So when someone answers briefly — or honestly — it’s not disinterest. It’s taking your words seriously.

If you just want to say hello, a simple:

• “Hallo”
• “Goedemorgen”
• or even a nod and a smile

does exactly the same job here.

⤷ Learn a few basic Dutch words that make everyday interactions easier

Are Dutch People Cold?

Not really — but we are reserved.

In shops and cafés, staff usually wait for you to signal that you need help. That’s intentional. We see it as respectful, not distant.

Big smiles, enthusiastic greetings, or casual hugging with strangers can feel overwhelming to us. It doesn’t mean we dislike you. It just means we’re wired differently.

When guests tell me they felt ignored in a store, I usually say this:
Approach first. Ask directly. You’ll get help immediately.

How to Make Contact With Dutch People Easier

We’re actually very approachable and willing to help. We’re also friendly. We have the word “Gezellig” after all. Even President Obama famously used it during a visit.

Here’s how to make contact with Dutch people easier:

Ask directly when you need help

If you look lost or ask a clear question, most people will gladly help you — especially when they hear you’re visiting.

Language is rarely a problem. Nearly everyone speaks English.

Be clear with invitations and plans

If you’re invited somewhere and don’t want to go, say so kindly but clearly.

“I’ll think about it” often sounds like a yes to us.
That can lead to confusion.

Don’t take honesty personally

If someone gives you a direct answer, it’s not criticism. It’s information.

A Dutch comment is rarely about you. It’s about the topic.

A Few Things Most Visitors Commonly Misread

• Personal space matters. We don’t hug easily.
• Service is slower by design. Dinner is meant to be unhurried, not a quick meal. Ask upfront if that is what you need.
• Opinions are honest. Compliments are real. So is criticism.
• Direct doesn’t mean unfriendly. It means efficient.

What I Want You to Remember Before You Visit

If you remember only a few things, make it these:

• Say hello. That’s enough.
• Ask clearly for what you need.
• Don’t fill silence — it’s comfortable here.
• Take words at face value.
• Try not to read tone into everything.

When you do that, the Netherlands becomes much easier to enjoy.

Planning Your First Trip?

If this is your first time visiting, understanding these cultural differences makes the rest of your trip smoother — from restaurants to museums to public transport.

I’ve put everything first-time visitors usually struggle with into one clear starting point:

⤷ First Time in the Netherlands: How to Plan a Trip That Feels Easy

That guide helps you decide where to stay, how long to go, and what pace actually works — without rushing or second-guessing yourself.

Bottom Line

Are Dutch people rude?
No. They’re direct, practical, and honest.

Once you stop expecting constant enthusiasm and start appreciating clarity, interactions here feel much more relaxed.

Most of my guests leave saying the same thing:
“Once I understood it, everything clicked.”

And that’s exactly the moment I want you to have too.

Veel plezier — enjoy your time here.

PS: Here is a great explainer from the BBC: